A dog, a nymph and a werewolf
by Ocaso
Summary: This is one of my 'thousand takes', so it's definitely not the Sirius.Tonks.Remus thing you think it is. One of my best fics, so please give it a chance and, at least, read the initial author's note. Enjoy!
1. How it started

**Author's Note:** As I say on my profile page, I'm the author of a thousand takes. That can be translated roughly to 'this is not your usual Sirius-Tonks-Lupin triangle/ what-Sirius-and-Remus-were-up-to/ why-Tonks'-hair-color-really-changed/ why-Harry-was-right-about-it/ how-a-get-together-turned-into-a-wild-drinking-party/ angst/ depressing thing' (I don't lie, so you can take my word for it – but if you don't believe me, feel free to check it out). Just give it a chance before rolling your eyes, and closing this window, okay? I doubt you'll hate it. And again, you can take my word for it…

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**Disclaimer:** If J.K. Rowling owns it, it's because it's not mine. Don't sue.

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

_**How it started…**_

Scowling, Tonks stood up after tripping once more over the umbrella stand, and tried to force the curtains closed. She fumed, wondering when he would get the idea of moving that horrible thing out of the way, while, with a last tug, she finally managed to silence Mrs. Black behind her curtains. Tonks pushed her hair back with the back of her hand and started searching for him inside every room of number twelve, Grimmauld Place. After ten minutes – and tripping on the last step of the staircase – she found him in his room.

Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed, looking at the floor deep in thought. He didn't move nor recognize her presence in any way. Tonks looked at him for a moment, saddened: he was even more depressed than he had been on her last visit.

"Sirius?" – She said tentatively. He didn't answer.

She sighed and moved to his side, sitting by him in silence. He lifted his eyes to meet hers for a moment, before turning his gaze back to the floor.

"He doesn't want to see me…" – Sirius stated a while later, his voice oddly constricted.

Tonks had no idea of whom or what he was talking about, so she squeezed his shoulder and tried to be comforting.

"No, no, Sirius… I'm sure he wants to see you. It's all probably a misunderstanding."

"No, it isn't. I offered to visit him and he practically screamed at me not to come."

"But that's only because he knows you can't leave the house. I'm sure it's nothing personal…"

"It is to me! I don't care about being caught; I don't care about them finding me! I just want to see Harry again, and he doesn't want to see me! He's rejected me! And why shouldn't he? After all, what kind of godfather am I? Away at Azkaban for thirteen years, with him thinking I handed his parents to Voldemort for who knows how long… Then hiding in caves and finally stuck in this horrible house, unable to assist him any further, to be with him, to be there for him… He's been alone all his life, and even though I know he doesn't like the Dursleys, I can't bring him to stay with me. I can't get him out of there… He's resigned himself because he knows I'll never be around and that's why he doesn't want to see me now. I'm of no use to him…" – He sighed sadly. – "I'm sick of it. I'm sick of this place, of hiding, of everything... I want out, and he won't see me…"

His eyes were shining, and he took a deep breath. Tonks, now getting what was going through his mind, could feel her eyes watering, too.

"Come on, Sirius. You know what he feels for you. And you know Harry'd love you to be cleared so you could go visit him as often as you'd like –"

"– or live with him –"

"– Or so you could live with him permanently, but you've got to be patient –"

"– I've been patient! –"

"– You've got to pull yourself together –"

"– I'm trying to! What do you think I've been doing all this time?! –"

"– And you've got to stop biting my head off!" – Tonks replied irritably. – "We all love you, Sirius, and we'd do anything to make you feel better! We are as upset about you being stuck in this place as you are! So stop thinking we're conspiring to drive you mad by keeping you here, and understand that we just want you safe until Fudge acknowledges your innocence! We are sincerely trying to help you, and your attitude isn't making it any easier!"

He nodded, without taking his eyes off the floor, and was quiet once more. Tonks sighed and rolled her eyes at herself: she had been severely insensitive.

"Look, I'm sorry, Sirius. I shouldn't have yelled at you… I know you're dying to get out and I would be, too, if I were in your position. It was very rude of me and I apologize for it from the bottom of my heart. I'll try to control my temper better, so it doesn't happen again… I'm really sorry."

"No, it's okay. I mean, you're right. I've got to stop playing the victim here and take it like a man."

"Sirius! That's not what I meant! You know it wasn't! And I already said I'm sorry!"

Instead of replying, he changed the subject abruptly.

"Did you know your mom used to be my favorite cousin? She never let anyone fill her head with all that 'Toujours pur' garbage that the Blacks upheld. I always loved being around her, but, after she married your father, no one could even say her name… I thought she would forget us – that she was going to forget me – just as everyone else was trying to forget her. But she didn't. I remember she used to owl me every time she heard Mom and I had a fight. I always wondered how she found out…" – His lips curved in a sad smile. – "She also sent me secret Christmas presents and she never overlooked my birthdays. That's why, when Uncle Alphard left me his fortune, the first thing I thought about was sending her the most incredible gift I could find… In the end, I couldn't find anything special enough, so I sent her five thousand galleons, which still left me with a decent bit of gold. She didn't accept it without a fight, though… We continued owling each other, always making plans to get together, for me to meet you or to come visit, but the Order occupied most of my time… However, the owls never stopped coming, almost ten years of them… Not until after what happened to James and Lily… After that, she never wrote to me again…"

A lump rose in Tonks' throat.

"I could try to convince her, you know? Tell her you are innocent; get her to write or to come visit or something…"

"Did she ever mention me?"

The lump in her throat threatened to choke her, but she didn't lie to him.

"No."

"Then it doesn't matter. I am as dead to her as she is to me."

"Sirius…"

He stood up with a forced smile and took her arm, pulling her to her feet.

"Well, enough for a day, eh? Thanks for stopping by… See you at the next Order meeting."

"Wait, no!"

"I have to go feed Buckbeak now…" – He said, leading Tonks to the bedroom door.

"Don't do this, Sirius! Don't shut me out!"

"I'm not! I'm sure you have a lot of interesting things to do, and you should catch some sleep because your night shifts begin again in two days, so run along…"

"STOP!"

She wrenched her arm out of his grip, and Sirius' fake grin fell instantly.

"Please, Tonks, please…just go…"

She shook her head fiercely, her eyes now positively burning with tears.

"I'm here – I'll always be here for you, Sirius. I won't leave you, I won't stop visiting; I'll even start owling you _today_ if you'd like me to." –A hot, solitary tear ran down Sirius' cheek. She looked at it, totally engrossed, and her fingers slowly grazed his jaw to clear it away. – "Let me in… Let me ease your pain… I know I can, and so do you…"

She felt, rather than saw, him nodding, and he bent down to kiss her forehead.

"Thank you…" – Sirius said softly.

His breath was on her face; she could feel it moving her green bangs. Her eyes locked with his, her hand still on his jaw, and he leaned down again. This time, his lips fell farther down her heart-shaped face…

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**Author's Note:** O.o, my first cliffhanger! Well, I think it is a cliffhanger… What do you think? Anyway, before any of you complain: 

_TONKS AND SIRIUS DON'T LOVE EACH OTHER ROMANTICALLY!_

Think of it as a strange, really weird, slightly creepy expression of cousinly love (hey, I'm not the one that said cousins could marry! – J.K. Rowling was the one that came up with legalizing that in the wizarding world). As of the moment, I don't know how long I'll make this story, but it covers some parts of books five and six. At one point, maybe I'll give another reason why Tonks' hair was normal on Platform 9¾ at the end of OotP and why it wasn't during most of HBP, just for the fun of it. And it's not related to romantically loving anyone. O.o, do I sense another cliffhanger? Lol. Remember to R&R or flame, whichever tickles your fancy.


	2. Where Remus comes in

**Author's Note:** So, back again, eh? Well, I can't say it doesn't make me feel all fuzzy inside, lol. Now, in the last chapter, Sirius and Tonks finally got to the point where both understood they'd do anything for each other. After all, what are relatives for? (Ocaso cringes.) I'm just glad I don't have any 'escaped convict' or 'overly sympathetic' cousins… So here's the chapter that tells us where Remus comes in. Remember, read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:**_If you think I own Harry Potter, please press 1 after the beep. If you think Prince Charles looks ravishing, please press 1 after the beep. If you think–_(beep)

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

_**Where Remus comes in…**_

Tonks wrapped her hands around her mug, which stood innocently on the table. With her eyes closed, she let the liquid's warmth rise up to her face, as she remembered what had happened the night before...

_Sirius hadn't asked her permission and she knew she didn't have to agree. Before she could register what he was doing, they were back on his bed, undressing each other. In a whirlwind of movement and colors, they were under the covers, unclothed…_

_It wasn't anything like what she had experienced, probably because she had never done anything like it. She closed her eyes, taking in only details of what happened…Him, moving feverishly on top of her, while his lips met her jaw, her collarbone, her shoulders; while low groans escaped his throat… Her, sighing and moaning quietly under him, shifting her legs, wrapping her arms around his neck… Them, once, twice, thrice together…_

"Ah!"

Her eyes opened in surprise as she cursed: Tonks had splashed some of the hot liquid down the front of her robes.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you!"

Remus sounded truly apologetic, but she glared at him anyway.

"Why did you have to go touching my hand while I'm trying to sleep here? I could have burned myself!"

With a flick of her wand, the tea on her robes had disappeared. He shifted uncomfortably in front of her.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen."

"Yes, well, apology accepted but, for future reference, I am quite capable of spilling my drinks over myself on my own, thank you very much."

He gave her a small smile and stared into his cup.

"How long have you been here anyway?"

"Not much. I've been trying to greet you for the past five minutes, though." – He answered.

"Ah, I see. You need some moral support." – She sent her cup to the sink and smiled, understanding why he had tried to get her attention so bad. – "So, tell me, how was your night? Did Mad-Eye drive you crazy?"

"I just don't know how he does it! I've always thought it'd be impossible to survive while being as paranoid as he is…"

"Don't worry. He's lived this long anyway. Is there anything I could do to help you?"

"I've already got some hot chocolate here," – He laughed. – "so I'll live. What about you? How was your night?"

"Well, you know… I came to visit Sirius."

Remus nodded knowingly.

"He's been really depressed lately. How did you find him?"

"I don't know. Not well, I guess, but he's fine now."

He looked at Tonks curiously.

"What do you mean?"

"We – We talked about everything, and he sort of… got it out of his system? I don't know how I should call it… He's sleeping at the moment."

"Oh, you watched him overnight?"

She nodded and looked at the table. A faint blush appeared on her cheeks as she remembered how she'd walked out of his room, after getting up quietly and dressing herself. One last look at Sirius had told her that was exactly was he needed: he looked peaceful.

"You know, he shut me out long ago." – Remus said after a while. – "I must confess, Tonks, I'm impressed. How could you get to him?"

"Cousin' lovin', I guess." – She shrugged at his doubtfulness. – "It works wonders."

"I see… Are you okay, though? You seem to be quite out of it."

"I'm fine… I was just… I guess I'm just tired, that's all."

Tonks lowered her gaze again. She tried to sort out what she thought about what had happened, but she felt nothing at all. She had made him happy, and that's all he needed. He was fine now. He was –

"You're up!" – Remus said.

Her head snapped up to meet Sirius' gaze. He was smirking.

"Moony… Tonks… What are you two doing all alone? Tonks, you're not harassing the little old werewolf here, are you?"

For a fleeting moment, she feared what Sirius would do – if he was jealous or angry or if he'd say anything – but the feeling left her as soon as he got to her side and ruffled her hair playfully. She smiled at him gratefully and he winked at her, before turning to Remus.

"See? You've got him all flustered!"

Remus was blushing furiously.

"Padfoot– " – He started menacingly.

"Oh, come off it! If I'm angry, you want me to calm down. If I'm whining, you try to make me laugh. And now that I'm joking around, are you really going to get mad at me?"

"No, I'm not." – Remus sighed, defeated. He was still beet red.

"Good. Now, Tonks, I'm afraid I told you to rest."

"I was all ready leaving. Have a nice day, boys." – Tonks said, standing up.

"No, no, no, wait a minute. See, I think Mr. Moony here can walk you to your house. These _are_ dangerous times." – Sirius said slyly. It was Tonks turn to blush. What was he playing at? Was he going to start offering her to everyone else of the Order? He continued talking, with a short pleading look to her. – "And remember your promise…"

"I will." – Tonks replied: she'd owl him once she got home.

Remus didn't ask her what all that was about as they walked slowly outside. He was too busy fuming, by the looks of it, to have registered anything they'd said.

"What did you have to go cheering him up for? He is unbearable!"

"We both know it really doesn't upset you." – Tonks replied shortly.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm happy he's back to his usual self, but it's too early in the morning and I'm too tired to deal with it at the moment. I mean, I've just escaped Moody!"

Tonks chuckled.

"What?"

"He's right, Remus. You're a little old werewolf all right. You've forgotten, probably because of your _advanced age_, what playing around means."

"I have not!" – He exclaimed, frowning.

"Sure, if you say so… Now, let's get going. I want to sleep."

She stifled a yawn with her hand and they started walking again. Their footsteps echoed down the street and the cold wind tickled her cheeks. She looked at Remus and then at his shabby clothes; he was probably cold.

"If you don't want Sirius to get any strange ideas, why did you agree to come with me?" – She asked suddenly.

He smiled.

"Because I wouldn't live it down if I didn't. He'd say my denial would confirm my 'feelings' for you."

Tonks had to put all her strength into not letting her smile fall. She wondered when she started caring so much about what he thought of her. Apparently, he didn't think anything at all: she was just Sirius' little cousin.

"Yeah, Sirius can be quite annoying." – Tonks said quietly.

He looked at her for a moment before turning his eyes to look in front of him.

"It's okay. I kind of – I mean, I like his little joke."

Both blushed. They continued walking in silence, side by side, and soon reached her place.

"This is it…"

"Right…" – He chuckled. – "Well, see you at the next meeting, I guess."

"Yeah."

He held out his hand and squeezed hers softly. She blushed once more and he smiled.

"Goodbye, Tonks."

She stared at his retrieving form until a _pop!_ announced he had dissaparated…

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**Author's Note:** There you go, chapter two! In the next chapter, you'll see what Sirius really plans to do with Tonks, and some more action will be involved. Remember to review or flame, whichever you prefer, or to give suggestions if you have any. Thanks for reading! 


	3. How Sirius misbehaves

**Author's Note:** You're back? Oh my! I'm starting to think you like me! Oh well, here goes the third chapter of the "creepy fraternizing" series. This goes to my 64 hits, my 5 reviewers and those who have listed this as a favorite. I hope it lives up to your standards, guys! Read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** I don't own Harry Potter because – well, really, you _don't_ want to know…

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_How Sirius misbehaves…_**

Sirius smiled.

"Come on, Tonks. You can't really play hard to get, can you?"

"Don't make me hex you!" – She replied, fuming. – "You can't go around offering me to half the Order!"

"I'm not; I'm just offering you to one member." – He retorted.

"You both got along quite nicely, though, didn't you, dear?"

Tonks took a deep breath and stared at her mug.

"We did, Molly, but I'd appreciate if my stupid cousin would stop trying to fix me dates."

"And what other date has he fixed for you?"

"None, Molly. She's just angry that I worry about her, you know, because she's so _young _and_ naïve_."

"Sirius, if I were you, I'd shut up."

"I won't. Really, Tonks, what's so bad about Bill Weasley?"

Tonks sighed and put her face in her hands, which was so hot that she knew she was blushing furiously.

"There's nothing wrong with him."

"Good. Then you'll go out with him." – Sirius insisted.

"I certainly will not! You can't pass me around like a snack dish! First, you start sending me home with Remus. Now, you want me to go out with Bill. If you try to make me date Kingsley, you'll regret every prank you've ever done in your life!"

"Now, really! There's no need to take that tone with me! I'm just trying to help!"

"_I do not need your help!_"

"Sure you don't, dear." – Molly said, with a knowing smile, making Tonks groan in frustration.

Just then, when she thought it wouldn't get any worse, Remus Lupin walked in. He looked at her quizzically before saying hi and sitting with the three of them at the table. They were silent for a moment, but Sirius wasn't done.

"Moony, Tonks has a problem."

"I DO NOT!"

"Let the grown-ups talk, sweetheart." – Declared Molly with a tap on Tonks' hand.

"Thank you, Molly." – Beamed Sirius. – "The thing is, Molly and Arthur are very thankful for their stay during Christmas, and seeing my low spirits, she asked me if there was anything she could do."

"I thought Tonks was helping you cheer up." – Said his friend.

"She was… But Christmas time was so busy that we didn't really have time to – relate, if you might… Anyway, I told Molly that what I most wanted in the world was to see a nice man with my dear Tonks, and then I'd rest in peace…"

"Sirius, I'm sorry, but I don't really like where this is going." – Remus interrupted again, his face slowly turning pink.

"Don't worry, it's not you. I know what you'd say:_ I'm too old, too poor and a werewolf._" – For a fleeting moment, Tonks saw disappointment in both men's eyes, but it was gone so soon she feared she'd imagined it. – "You should change your lines, you know? Well, as I was saying, I told Molly that maybe we could get Tonks and Bill together!"

"But isn't he dating the Delacour girl?"

"Yes, but we don't like her that much." – Molly said dryly.

"Right… Does Bill know?"

"Not yet. We're trying to convince Tonks first."

Remus turned to Tonks, with the same mischievous look that Sirius had.

"And what's wrong with Bill Weasley?"

"My point exactly!" – Laughed Sirius.

Tonks let out a sigh.

"He's not the one I'd like to date…"

Although her voice had been quiet, she might as well have shouted it: the room fell silent instantly and Sirius barking laughter died right away.

"Who would you like to date then?" – He asked.

Tonks shook her head and stood up: she had never been so embarrassed in her life. Her eyes were full of tears.

"Thanks for the tea, Molly. Good evening."

"Wait! Don't leave!"

But Tonks ignored Sirius' pleas and started heading outside. Remus stood up, and so did Molly, but she ignored them as she started ascending the staircase that lead to the first floor and tears started running down her cheeks. Sirius got to her side as she crossed the kitchen's door and he whirled her around by her elbow.

"Oh, Tonks, I'm so terribly sorry!" – He said earnestly, not daring to close the gap between them.

She gazed at him for a moment, making a move to exit the house.

"No, no, Tonks, please don't leave! I was just taking the Mickey out of you! I didn't mean to upset you! Oh, Tonks, please forgive me! I'm such an idiot!"

He lifted a hand to flick away her tears but her look was enough to stop him.

"If you'd like to keep your fingers," – She said in a dangerous whisper, looking down at his hand holding her elbow. – "you might want to keep your hands to yourself."

Sirius, however, didn't let her go. He was also close to tears.

"Please, please, forgive me. Please… I'll do anything you want me to. Just, please, don't leave me." – His voice cracked. – "You promised me you wouldn't go…"

And as he started crying, she hugged him tightly, her tears wetting the fabric on his chest. He held her close, kissing the top of her head and her hair, begging for forgiveness. After a while, she lifted her face and kissed his lips to shush him, hiccupping as she did so. He ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing manner and she let him dissolve her into nothing…

They never talked; they didn't need to. They'd read each other's eyes and communicate without their voices. Sighs, grunts, one whimper here and there, were everything they uttered. The only other sounds were the rustling of sheets and of lips moving on top of each other's bodies …

They never said anything about it either. They had made an unspoken agreement to never even mention what they did. After all, there was nothing to say, really; they just did what they knew would make them both feel better. There were no feelings attached, and it was this fact that brought them more peace than anything else. It eased the pain, leaving them free to do as they pleased… And they both liked it that way.

Tonks felt she was almost pulsating as her back arched. She knew Sirius was feeling the same. Soon, they regained their breath once more, and Sirius lay down next to her carefully...

They never cuddled or talked or slept afterwards the way other couples did. After all, they weren't a couple. They'd just wait a while – yet again, in silence – resting next to each other. Then, she'd get her things and leave quietly, and he'd fall asleep.

It was always the same, until last time, when their usual pattern had been disrupted. She had barely left when he'd been addressed by his great-great-grandfather with Dumbledore's message that Arthur had been attacked on duty. Sirius had put the clothes he'd been wearing back on and had drunk some Firewhisky to wake himself up. During the rest of the break, they didn't see much of each other, but he didn't mind: the surprise had left him with the horrible fear of being discovered.

Tonight, however, he didn't need to fear anything, and they went back to their usual routine, where she left cautiously and he dozed off, in silence…

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**Author's Note:** I swear this didn't turn out like it was supposed to! I mean, this seems to have a mind of its own! (Ocaso shudders.) Anyway, I hope you got the bit of Sirius giving Molly the idea of getting Bill and Tonks together. It will be important later on. I mean, I _hope _it will be important later on; I'm not really sure, now that I think of it, with the way this is turning out… Well, now you know what you've got to do: Review or Flame, people! I'll see you in the next chapter: "When the curtain falls"! Cheers! 


	4. When the curtain falls

**Author's Note:** Let's recap: so far, Tonks has been helping Sirius cheer up in a way none of us would help anyone we're related to, and Christmas time has passed. Harry is back at Hogwarts and has already started fighting his nightmares with Occlumency lessons (_shameless plug: read "In Fear of a Crucio" for my take on Harry's anguish when he sees Snape's Worst Memory_). Meanwhile, Tonks, Remus and Sirius have their own thoughts to battle and their own decisions to make. It is so that, without further ado, I present you this chapter. Read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** I'll own Harry Potter later this week: the tea leaves told me so.

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_When the curtain falls…_**

"This isn't right…"

"Shhh… It is." – She replied against his lips.

Remus didn't speak anymore, although the way he started giving into it – almost eagerly – could be counted as an answer. He tried grunting a 'no' and pulling away half-heartedly, but Tonks knew better and she didn't let go until their lips were red and bruised, and they were both gasping for breath…

But now that Remus had left and she was ready to go to bed, she looked back at how it had happened. She did so every night before going to sleep, almost dreading it to be a beautiful dream and wishful thinking… But it wasn't: after Tonks' outburst almost four months before, things had considerably changed and they had changed for the better…

The fight had been early in January, she remembered, and after that she had been away for a fortnight, driven to exhaustion between her Auror duties and her work for the Order. Though she didn't stop owling Sirius daily, she wasn't able to visit him anymore. That is, until the night when she pulled herself together and got to number twelve, Grimmauld Place just in time for dinner.

_Tonks entered the kitchen to find three men at the table, eating some type of casserole that Molly had apparently left for them earlier. She smiled at the scene: Mundungus was trying to buy stuff from Sirius (who, she knew, would happily have given them away) while Sirius pretended he was endeared to everything Mundungus thought was on sale. Sitting in front of them, Remus was fighting a losing battle against a grin, understanding that his friend's antics were only meant to fluster the other man._

_After greeting her, the first two continued their negotiations and Remus proved once again that he was a pleasant companion. As the hour grew late, Tonks started feeling more tired and – quite suddenly – her forehead found her forearm and she fell asleep._

_She woke up early the next morning more out of habit than out of anything else. Someone had changed her clothes to something more comfortable and the bed she was in was the one in the room Sirius always offered her when he asked her to stay. She got dressed quietly and headed to the door, opening it as a fist was raised to knock._

_"Remus!"_

_He smiled at her warmly._

_"I thought you'd be sleep and that you'd appreciate getting a wake-up call." – He said, answering her unspoken question._

_"Thanks, though – just so you know – I generally get up early anyway, with the 'early bird gets the worm' and whatnot…"_

_"Really? But, then again, the worm did get up first, didn't it?"_

_She smiled._

_"Moody dropped by to say you'd be off work today and that Dawlish would cover for you."_

_"That's odd…"_

_"He said he feared you were overworked… I've brought some breakfast, if you'd like any."_

_Remus offered her the tray he was carrying in his other hand, but Tonks didn't accept it._

_"Thanks again," – She replied quietly. – "but I'm afraid I'll make a mess unless it's on a stable surface. Would you mind bringing it in? You can stay while I eat; I don't like having my meals alone…"_

_He chuckled and obliged, so they spoke about nothing in particular until she praised his cooking skills, which he politely denied having. When she was finished, he looked at her for a moment, unnerving her slightly, before he asked her if he could walk her home._

_"So that's why you're here… Did Sirius send you?" – Tonks asked, annoyed._

_"No! If you don't want to, I understand, though…"_

_"Is this because of what happened two weeks ago? Are you trying to make amends or something?" – She continued, thinking that something wasn't quite right since his face was blushing guiltily at the moment._

_Remus looked bewildered._

_"I'm sorry – I didn't mean to – Did I offend you? I'd just like – if you don't mind – to walk you home – you know? – It's okay – you don't – I mean, if you don't – and…"_

_His hesitancy calmed her at once: Remus was never uneasy. The back of her head told her this might be an impostor, but she chose to think she had made him nervous, and blushed furiously._

_"You're going to damage my blood vessels, Remus, making me blush so often and so early in the morning…"_

_He blushed a deeper shade of red and looked down at his feet. She hadn't meant to flirt, but he made it so easy…_

Now, at the end of May, things had blossomed to a point where she had to tell Sirius. Tonks feared how he'd react (he had certainly stopped trying to arrange her dates after the argument, which didn't make Molly give up her You-and-Bill-should-get-together-sometime endeavors), but that didn't mean she could leave him in the dark any longer. Besides, it would be terrible if he found out through anyone else…

It was so that the next morning found Tonks back at number twelve, Grimmauld Place. She knew she'd be reprimanded for getting to work late, but it was her only chance: the night before was full moon and Remus would be sleeping it off all day long.

She found Sirius with Buckbeak, to whom she bowed shortly before turning to her cousin. He was feeding the hippogriff rats out of a bucket, but stopped to greet her, ruffling her hair playfully and giving her a one-armed hug. She snorted and he let go.

They talked about nonsense for a couple of minutes, but Tonks knew she didn't have much time, so she sighed and took a steadying breath.

"Sirius… Do you remember when I got upset a couple of months ago?"

He nodded, his face now dead serious.

"Well, I said I'd like to date someone; someone that isn't Bill Weasley. What would you think about that?"

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh.

"You had me worried for a moment! I thought you were going to have a go at me or something."

"Sirius, please, for once in your life could you give a straight answer?" – She asked rather crossly.

"Well, I don't mind about you and Remus if that's what you're thinking about."

Tonks didn't need a mirror to know how her face had changed into one of pure shock.

"How did you know?"

"I didn't. I thought you liked each other, but that there was nothing going on. Are you dating?" – It was Tonks' turn to nod with a grim expression, knowing too well that Remus had indeed told her he liked her, and had probably mentioned it to Sirius. – "Then what we do has to stop. I can't do that to him; it'd be like taking Lily away from James."

"Sirius," – She replied, trying to lighten the situation. – "don't get my hopes up. He doesn't _love _me like they loved each other."

"You mean, like you love him?" – He asked, making her blush. Darn these Marauders, she thought, and their attempts against her blood vessels. – "He does, although he'll do anything to avoid admitting it."

"That's far-fetched, Sirius. And if you're right, for such an intelligent man, he's a bit stupid, isn't he?"

"No. He's just a Gryffindor, so he tends to be _noble_."

Sirius was being truthful; there was no denying that. Tonks felt her heart leap and she let all pretenses about them not having a relationship fall.

"I don't want him to be noble!"

"Don't worry: walking away doesn't mean he won't love you anymore. Sure, he'll try to stop you, to make you leave, to make you see that he hasn't anything to offer you… He'll try his hardest to not let it get to the next level, so you don't attach yourself to him… He'll do anything and everything, but he won't stop loving you. In fact, the only way he'll shut you out of his heart for good is if you push him away, and I won't let that happen. That is why, as I said before, this has to stop. He loves you, and, if he has finally done something about it, I won't be in the way."

Tonks sighed and nodded. She understood what Sirius was telling her, but her heart didn't want to believe – _to hope _– that one day Remus would tell her he loved her the same way she loved him. She also understood why she and Sirius hadn't done anything since a month ago, when Remus and Tonks had shared their first kiss.

"Did Remus tell you anything?"

"No, and he won't. Knowing him, I'm almost certain that he thinks that what he's doing is wrong because he doesn't deserve you, but he loves you too much to let go… And he probably also thinks that I'll be against it."

"Then he _is_ an idiot."

Sirius laughed once more.

"You have no idea… Try going to Hogwarts with him for seven years…"

"Will you be alright, though?"

"Sure I will! I promise Firewhisky will make do."

She sniggered shortly at his remark.

"Good to know you'll take up a healthy habit…" – She sighed. – "But I'm still worried about you. I said I wouldn't leave you…"

"But you aren't leaving me, Tonks. Your word will still be true, because I know you'll always be there for me, no matter what it takes, just as I'll be there for you _whatever_ the cost."

"Sirius, please, don't say things like that…"

"Like what?" – He asked confused.

"Like those things they say in cheap novels, right before someone kicks the bucket. You make me think like you're going to die next week or something."

It was Sirius turn to sigh.

"I promise I'll be fine, Tonks, and that I'm not joking around or just saying this to make you feel better… I won't be laughing my head off, but, I promise you, I'll be fine."

"So, all I have is your promise, and that's it? You just promise you'll be fine and then it's definitely over?"

"Yes, that's right."

"And you won't, well, _need me_ anymore?"

"No, Tonks, not that way. It wasn't even right to begin with and, as they say, 'it's better to end the play before the curtain falls'."

So (with a small smile on his lips), Sirius turned around and started feeding rats to Buckbeak again. Very confused, Tonks said goodbye and left the house, apparating to the Ministry while lost in her own thoughts. The curtain had fallen indeed.

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**Author's Note:** Aww, it's over... Yes, the 'Cousin Lovin' (as ProperT calls it) is officially over. Sorry, lol, but I didn't want to mar your minds permanently. However, this doesn't mean the story will have no more action (and I don't mean only _that_ kind of action). Thus, you'll have to brace yourselves for the next two chapters, where angst will lead to a whole new theory… But, before I post them, how about some feedback? Feel free to review or flame: I love both kindness _and_ Ocaso-bashing! Cheers! 


	5. Why some lines shouldn't be crossed

**Author's Note:** Sorry about making you wait so long for this chapter! I've been really busy and I had a mild case of writer's block, so I had to rewrite this a couple of times. I've never done a chapter like this before, so I'm sorry if it's a bit confusing. I really hope you like it and thanks for all of those who have reviewed so far. Read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** JKR is actually me in a couple of years, using a Time-Turner to come back in time to publish the great HP stories. I had lots of surgery before returning to these years, so that's why we don't look alike. Oh, and don't worry; I've used Time-Turners before: I'm actually also Björk, Emma Thompson and Joan of Arc...

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

_**Why some lines shouldn't be crossed…**_

When Tonks stepped into the kitchen, Remus was sitting at the table with his hands firmly wrapped around a mug of strong tea, looking pale.

"What's wrong?" – She asked, moving next to him and placing her arm on his shoulder comfortingly.

"I never want to walk in on Sirius again…" – He replied shakily.

"Why? What happened?"

"He'll flash anything if it stays still long enough…"

It took a couple of minutes for Tonks to understand him and, once she did, she wished she hadn't.

"_Thanks_, Remus, for the lovely mental image."

"It isn't worse than what I just lived through." – He snapped. – "My head is still pounding. I mean, Hogwarts was so long ago, I had forgotten he –"

"– don't say it! –" – She interrupted warningly.

"– loved taking pictures…"

Both of them looked, taken aback, at each other.

"Don't say what?"

"Loved taking pictures?"

"Sure." – Sirius said as a blinding light engulfed the room.

Once Tonks could see again, she tried to glare at Sirius. However, she faltered: he looked worse than ever before. Remus sighed angrily.

"If you try to take another –"

There was another flash as Sirius plainly ignored Remus.

"PADFOOT!"

"Oh, all right…"

Sirius sat sulkily and placed the camera on the table.

"I'm sorry… I was just trying to get something else to look at; something that isn't Buckbeak for a change."

Tonks thought about telling him that he was the one always running up to feed the hippogriff when she was around, but then thought that it probably was because he didn't want to see how they all arrived at the headquarters gradually darker (and the light that came through the door every time someone arrived became brighter) as summer approached.

"I'd do anything to be free again." – He finished lamely.

"Don't worry; you will be soon enough."

"Tonks, even if Fudge said I was innocent two minutes from now, it wouldn't be _soon enough_..."

"You know what she meant, Sirius." – Remus replied.

There was a short, very awkward silence, until Sirius stood up hastily.

"Well, I've got to go feed Buckbeak again… I'll be seeing you later, I guess."

And he walked out of the room. At loss of what to say, she and Remus just stared into space for a while.

"He's overfeeding that thing…" – Tonks said suddenly.

"I'm afraid so…" – He sighed and looked at his watch. – "Well, I've got to go. Dumbledore's expecting me."

"What for?"

"He said he had something he'd like me to do; I guess it's just some work for the Order. If you like, I'll walk you to work."

"Sorry, but I'll just apparate. Scrigemour's been on my – er – neck, and I've still got a couple of cases to look through if I'm to check in on Sirius later on…"

"Well, then, meet you back here tonight?"

"Sure."

They kissed goodbye and parted. The day trudged on swiftly and, before long, she found herself back at number twelve, Grimmauld Place. She had just crossed the threshold when Sirius rushed down the stairs. He was tangled in a bloody shirt, trying to take it off and put another one on at the same time.

"Sirius! What happened?"

She helped him get free from the offending piece of clothing and dressed him with the clean one while he spoke breathlessly.

"Buckbeak was hurt, and I healed him. Look, Snape sent a message, for me to confirm my whereabouts. He didn't say anything else, but it's been a while now and I'm afraid Harry has done something stupid."

"Have you contacted anyone?"

He nodded and pulled her into the kitchen. Kingsley was pacing around the table and Moody was facing the fire, apparently waiting for someone to pop through it at any moment. Kreacher was huddled in a corner and looked at her with strange glee distorting his features. Tonks wrenched her eyes away from the house-elf and walked towards Moody to ask him if he knew anything else, but she was stopped the sounds of someone dashing downstairs to meet them. Instinctively, she held Moody's wrist down – he was a little too jinx-happy for her taste – as Remus appeared at the door. His face worried, he opened his mouth but someone else spoke.

"I'm afraid Potter's at the Ministry."

They all whirled around to look at Snape. His head was in the fire and he scowled at them.

"Well, didn't you hear me? I haven't got much time!" – Snape said angrily. He was apparently using Umbridge's fire, the only one that wasn't being watched at Hogwarts castle. – "Potter's convinced that the Dark Lord has Black at the Department of Mysteries and I'm afraid that the foolish boy has gone to rescue him!"

"We heard." – Kingsley replied quietly. – "Is everyone ready?"

"I think," – interrupted Snape, - "Black should stay behind. The Headmaster's on his way to London as we speak and someone should tell him what has happened."

"I'm not leaving Harry there alone! Kreacher can tell him!"

"Sirius, you can't go!" – Tonks retorted. – "Just think for a moment! What if they capture you? What good will it be? We're four grown wizards who can handle this on our own!"

"HE'S MY GODSON! I DON'T CARE IF I'M CAUGHT OR KILLED OR GIVEN OFF TO THE DEMENTORS! I'M COMING EVEN IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

Tonks tried to reply, but Moody hushed her.

"Black, you're right: you're coming."

They left the kitchen immediately. As they hurried outside, Tonks could feel tears prickling her eyes: she had known Sirius for only a year, and she wasn't keen on the possibility of having to give him up. However, as they darted out of the house, Sirius got to her side and took her hand shortly.

"Please, be safe. I can handle anything but seeing any of you hurt."

She chuckled, her eyes still watering as they continued sprinting to the place where they would apparate from.

"It's not like I'm going to take on the stairs or an umbrella stand. We'll be fine."

And they apparated. In next to no time, they were moving down on the battered telephone box and running like mad. The doors they were looking for soon appeared in front of them and they burst through them in desperation. Malfoy turned when he heard the noise, but Tonks stunned him before he could hex them.

Then, all hell broke lose.

Spells started flying everywhere and she found herself dueling with her aunt Bellatrix only seconds later. Although Bellatrix was taunting her (and Tonks knew many wisecracks she might have used), she didn't reply: she was struggling to keep up with her attacker's speed at sending spells her way.

"Not a little baby anymore, a little half-blood, are we? Cruc–!"

"Protego!" – Tonks yelled and aimed again. – "Expelli–!"

Bellatrix was faster, though, and she made a deep gash appear on Tonks right arm with a silent wave of her wand. Tonks could feel blood trickling heavily down her arm and to the floor, but she didn't release her wand.

"Oh, good Aurors they have here…" – jeered Bellatrix. – "From healthy to bleeding in less than thirty seconds!"

"Stupefy!" – Tonks countered.

Bellatrix laughed and moved out of the way, directing Blasting Curse at Tonks, who had to duck to avoid it.

"Incarc–!" – she replied, but Bellatrix, once more, reacted quickly.

"Protego!"

Again and again, Tonks spells were deflected with relative ease by Bellatrix, while she had to move around to avoid being hit by the Death Eater. Tonks knew her aunt was far superior at dueling, and wondered when in the world Dumbledore would finally get there.

"You can't hurt me with your useless magic, you silly girl!" – growled Bellatrix when a full-body bind streaked past her.

"I'm not here to hurt you!" – Tonks yelled angrily, feeling almost hopeless. – "I'm here just to make you fail! _Protego!_" – A spell whooshed by, missing Tonks by inches. – "Can't you see none of you have gotten hold of the prophecy! You've failed your missio–"

Bellatrix shrieked in anger and cast an entrail-expelling curse, making Tonks duck again.

"You filthy half-blood! How dare you! Shut up!"

"I won't!"

"I said, SHUT UP!" – Bellatrix screamed, sending another Cruciatus Curse towards Tonks.

Tonks deflected the curse, but didn't obey.

"AND I SAID, YOU ARE A FAILURE TO YOUR 'DARK LO'–!"

However, she didn't have enough time to finish the idea as, with a final silent wand wave from a deranged Bellatrix, Tonks felt something pushing her back down the stairs and everything went black…

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**Author's Note:** There you go! My first fighting/dueling scene ever! Well, I think it wasn't very confusing, but it's late, so I don't trust my own judgment at the moment. The next chapter brings the unavoidable so stay tuned! And, meanwhile, feel free to flame or review! 


	6. How Tonks isn't a morning person

**Author's Note:** Ok, so this one – thankfully – didn't take that long to write. I'm really pleased because the story has been seen (and hopefully, _read_) by 212 people already! You guys really rock! Thanks for your polite attention to my stories and especially to those select 6 who have reviewed so far: _may your cookie jars never be filled with crumbs!_ Thanks again and now, read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:**_ (sung out of tune by the, now completely wasted, HP books) Oh, I don't tell you what to say, I don't tell you what to do, so just let me be myself. That's all I ask of you! You don't own me: I'm not one of your many toys. You don't own me– _(Annoyed, Ocaso turns off the wireless.) Well, then, on with the story…

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_How Tonks isn't a morning person…_**

"Oh, shi–"

"– Not a morning person, is she? –" – interrupted a soft female voice.

"– t: not St. Mungo's… –" – Tonks ended with a groan.

She opened her eyes slightly to find a bespectacled woman bent over her, blocking most of the light the crystal bubbles issued from the ceiling. The woman in question was dressed with lime green robes and her head was turned, apparently facing someone else in the room.

"I – I wouldn't know…" – replied a slightly hoarse (and very embarrassed) voice she knew too well.

Tonks blinked to get a better look at what surrounded her, but as soon as her eyes had opened again, she gasped: the scenery had changed. She was sure that just a bat of an eyelid ago she could see the sun rising as stars shined out the window, through which now bright sunlight entered, and that there had been a Healer with her in the room, who had now gone.

"Tonks?"

Remus stood up from the chair on her left and sat next to her on the bed gingerly.

"What happened?" – She asked, completely bewildered.

"You were injured by–"

"No, not that. I mean, I just heard the Healer and you talking…"

"You fell asleep. Healer Onderdonk said the spell damage was severe and that you will have to stay for a short while to recover…"

"How long have I been here already?"

"About nine hours, but you've already been given twelve different potions so far and I think you're still missing four or five."

Tonks sat up and sighed. At the moment, everything hurt, but there were more pressing matters at hand.

"And what about you and the others? How did it end? Is everyone all right?"

Remus took a deep breath and, for the first time, she noticed he was paler than usual.

"I'm not sure we should talk about that just yet."

"Oh, please, Remus, I'm an Auror: I know people get hurt and die when they duel. What happened? Is Harry okay? His friends–"

"They're all at Hogwarts, none seriously injured."

"And Mad-Eye and Sirius and Kingsley?"

"Moody and Kingsley are fine. They said they'll visit you later."

"And Sirius? Will he come visit me, too?" – She asked desperately, wondering why he hadn't been mentioned.

"I'm afraid… I'm afraid he won't, Tonks…"

"Why? Was he caught? Did the dementors–?"

"No. He – He fell through the Veil…"

This was preposterous: even Tonks wasn't as clumsy as that!

"What? He fell–? But _he knows_ what that Veil does, everyone knows! That's why we were all careful not to approach it! What do you mean he 'fell'? Sirius can't just _have_ _fallen_ through it!"

"It wasn't – You're right: he didn't – he didn't just fall through it. I mean – Well –"

It was weird for her to see Remus struggling for words, but the worst part was how his voice slowly cracked as he recounted what had taken place at the Ministry before dawn.

"It was – _everything _was happening at once – you know how it is – Spells were being directed everywhere and everyone was trying to protect themselves while – while causing the most damage possible to the other side. Then Dumbledore arrived and most of the fighting stopped, but Sirius – He just – He didn't notice, so he continued dueling and–"

He looked away miserably, his red eyes watery, unable to finish the story that Tonks felt she had to know.

"Who was he dueling?" – Remus shook his head sadly, but Tonks wouldn't take that for an answer, so she gripped the neck of his shirt and pulled him closer, making him face her. – "Who was he dueling, Remus?!"

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment and she didn't need words to understand why he was speechless. She felt faint and let go of him, lying down on the bed to stare at the ceiling.

"It was Bellatrix, wasn't it?"

"Yes, it was her."

There was a terrible silence in the room. Tonks hadn't checked if there were any other patients in her ward (what would Mad-Eye say, with his thing for 'Constant Vigilance'?), but now she didn't even care if she and Remus weren't alone: the world had suddenly disappeared around her… Because, after all that talk to Bellatrix about the Death Eaters not getting the prophecy, she was the one that had failed… And now Sirius was gone because of her failure…

A tear slid out the corner of her eyes. Then another, and another. She had never cried while lying down and it was certainly uncomfortable to have hot tears tickle her cold ears as gravity moved them towards her pillow… Remus seemed to understand this, because he unexpectedly scooped her up in a warm hug which she returned in spite of herself, burying her face in his shirt like she had done with Sirius almost six months ago…

But she wouldn't be able to do that anymore: she had failed. Sirius had been killed because she had messed up. If she hadn't failed blocking that last curse… If she hadn't lost her concentration… If she hadn't goaded Bellatrix… So many 'if she hadn't'… Too many… But she had… She had failed…

And just as suddenly as she had started to cry, it stopped. She remembered how he had said he wanted to be free; how he had been willing to give his life for Harry, for the Order, for everything… How he had gotten a chance to see something besides Buckbeak and – probably – was now able to see everything else… It was okay then, if his sacrifice had been worth it. If they had done what they meant to when they set out to rescue Harry, it was fine…

"Did the Death Eaters get the prophecy?" – She asked quietly.

"No."

"Good."

Tranquility washed over her. After all, they _had _accomplished something. Her instant calmness made Remus look at her strangely, probably wondering what had made her sobs stop so abruptly. He settled her back against the pillows and ran his hand through her hair.

"'Good'? What do you mean, 'good'?"

"They didn't get the prophecy. That's good."

"It is…" – He agreed, bemused.

"Yes, it is…"

She spent the rest of her stay at St. Mungo's receiving visitors and all sorts of gifts that those who cared sent her. Her biggest present, however, was that Remus didn't leave her side, although he smiled cheekily when she pointed it out and said that he only stayed there because he didn't have enough money to afford any place else.

"I've never liked Dolores Umbridge better." – Tonks had replied. Remus had scowled.

However, once she was allowed to go back home, she noticed that (although they had joked about it before) Remus' lack of funds issue made him as uneasy as Sirius had once said it did.

"Oh, really! We don't have to do anything! After all, I've just been healed and you're still such a prude–"

"– I most certainly am not! –"

"Sure, whatever you say, Remus. The point is, I need someone to look after me and you need a place to stay. So far, we've only had snogging sessions" – Tonks smiled when Remus made a small choking noise at her straightforwardness – "and I'm not thinking about taking advantage of the resident werewolf, you know?"

"That's another reason! What will happen when the full moon comes?"

"I'm sure Dumbledore will come up with a brilliant way to keep us both safe. Now, could you please stop making my head hurt and kindly agree? It's not like I don't want you to voice your opinion or do as you like, it's just that you've got to do what I want, with me being the girl and you the gentleman and all..."

"Right." – He groaned angrily. – "Well, then, shall my _mistress_ get going?"

"Yes indeed, but stop auditioning for house-elf because, if you're any good, you'll end up cleaning the house and I'm sure you wouldn't like that."

He nodded curtly and held out his arm, which she took for the side-along apparition Healer Onderdonk had advised her to use for the next couple of days. Too tired to give Remus a tour inside her home, she walked through the door and went to her room automatically, falling asleep without even taking her clothes off. Her rest cycle, however, was interrupted by some mad, rhythmical thumping in the living room.

"What?!" – She asked, wrenching the entrance door open.

There stood Moody, dressed in a huge traveling cloak and a bowler hat, clutching a long staff.

"Not a morning person, eh?"

She smiled and shook her head, letting him come in. As he sat down in the living room, Remus came out of the bathroom, looking completely refreshed in his shabby jumper and trousers.

"Tonks, I forgot to tell you… We're going to see Harry off at Platform 9 ¾ today."

"It's nice to know we're into intimidating muggles now." – She replied happily.

"How did you know what our purpose was?"

"Constant vigilance." – Moody answered Remus for her.

Tonks stifled a laugh.

"Yeah, that's it – Constant Vigilance. Well, I'll be ready in a moment, Mad-Eye, so make yourself at home."

An hour later, Tonks was standing on the other side of the platform, wearing a bright purple 'The Weird Sisters' T-shirt and heavily patched jeans, next to Remus (who had added a long, tattered overcoat to his outfit), Mad-Eye, Arthur, Molly, Hermione and her parents, Ron, Ginny, Fred and George.

"We've made him happy." – She said quietly.

Remus nodded. The way Harry had smiled and waved farewell before leaving the station with the Dursleys showed that he had no words to describe how much what they had just done meant to him.

"Good."

"It is." – Remus said agreeably.

"Yes, it is…"

They both stared at the boy's retreating back until he was lost in the crowd, and then turned to each other.

"Are you tired, Tonks?"

"I am."

"Then let's go."

And, after saying their own goodbyes, they side-along apparated home…

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**Author's Note:** Well, then, the part based on HP&OotP has been finished! Still to come, a look into the summer of 1995 and Harry's sixth year at Hogwarts, so don't worry: you'll still have enough to review or flame. See ya! 


	7. When another loss struck

**Author's Note:** Another chapter, I know! Thanks for those who have given me unconditional support until now, and for those who've read this. You sure know how to make my little light shine, lol! It's sunshine yellow, somewhat creative and quite stressful to manage, just so you know… Anyway, read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** To lie and say I own it, or to not say so… That is the question.

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_When another loss struck…_**

Tonks sighed. She still felt a bit dizzy from the attack although a fortnight had passed, and she knew she couldn't take much more. However, Moody and Scrimgeour had disagreed with her, placing her in Harry's guard against her wishes, knowing that the boy wouldn't trust just anyone from the Ministry after what had happened the year before, with Umbridge slicing his hand open in every detention and all.

And so, the day had been just another long argument, an argument that had started since Bones and Vance had been murdered. Tonks sighed again as she apparated home, wanting to get the row out of her head as she yearned for her bed once more…

She wasn't expecting to find Remus drinking in front of the fireplace. A quick look was enough to notice that he had packed already and that his belongings lay by his sitting form.

"What's going on?"

"A fortnight has passed." – He replied quietly, without looking at her.

Tonks looked at him non-plussed. He raised his eyes to meet hers and noticed her confusion.

"On the day of – of what happened, Dumbledore and I had a meeting, remember?" – Tonks nodded, so Remus continued his explanation. – "He asked me to help recruit werewolves and gave me two weeks to decide. So far, I've done everything in my power to postpone making a decision… And now the fortnight has passed."

"So what does that mean? Are you leaving me?"

"Well, he's given me my own place as part of the agreement…"

"I don't care if you're moving out or not, you idiot. What I meant was 'have you agreed?'"

"Yes."

She stared at him horror-struck. What on Earth was going through his head?!

"No, no, no, no… You - You can't go! You – you – you've got to stay here, to stay with me!"

She kneeled in front of him, tears threatening to fall down her face, and pulled him by the collar. He was surprised as she kissed him passionately and, once he recovered, he pushed her away.

"No, no, no… Please, Remus, please… I'm begging you…"

"Don't. This was wrong to begin with, and this is the best way for it to end. We'll both be doing our duty, won't we?"

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Sirius was right." – Remus continued, like he hadn't heard her at all. – "I'm too old, too poor and a werewolf. You deserve someone like Bill, someone young and whole."

"What?!"

Tonks had to fight her urge to strangle him then and there.

"You're talking nonsense! Get a hold of yourself! Please! Don't leave me! I don't – I can't take it anymore!"

Her tears finally managed to escape her eyes, as he gazed at her sadly for a moment and then looked away.

"Tonks, I've got to. This is what's best for all of us. This is what I've got to do. Dumbledore thinks–"

"I don't care what Dumbledore thinks or not! You can't go to them and then say it's just because you have to fulfill your duty or because of what Sirius could have thought about you and me! He would have been okay with it, you dolt!"

"He wouldn't have; I knew him."

"But it was I who asked him! I don't care whatever you think you've got to do! There are more on our side now! Dumbledore can get someone else!"

"He can't. Don't you get it? I'm the only one who can do this."

"If you go, they'll kill you!"

"I DON'T CARE!"

He stood up angrily, running a hand through his hair.

"Tonks, this is what war is like! People live and people die! What did you think it'd be?! A picnic adventure?! A game of sardines?! Who cares what happens to me if it's for the greater good! Get a hold of you yourself, and stop being so selfish! I've lost Lily and James and Peter and Sirius and so many countless others, too! Now Emmeline and Bones are dead and if we don't want them to murder anyone else, we've got to do whatever we can to stop them!"

"You can't sacrifice yourself, Remus!"

"I will if I have to! Greyback's already got a head-start and only I can go to them without being hurt!"

"Stop being an idiot! They'll eat you alive!"

"They won't! Can't you see it?! I'm one of them! I'm one of their kind!"

"There's no 'them'! There's no 'kind'! Werewolves aren't different species! They're just wizards who've been bitten! That doesn't make you or them any different from the rest of us!"

"That's easy to say when you're not the one who's received the bite!"

He flung his glass angrily into the fireplace, where it smashed, spilling its contents everywhere and making the flames brighter for a moment.

"Dumbledore needs someone to go recruit them and here's his spy, ready made! Don't you think I'm struggling against the idea, too?! It was Fenrir who bit me and I'm not stupid enough to be keen on running back to his side!"

Remus sunk back in the sofa, pulling his hair as he closed his eyes. Tonks looked at him transfixed: he had repressed a sob.

"Remus…"

She tried to hug him, but he stopped her.

"Go."

His voice was quiet and angry. She ignored him and insisted, wanting to comfort him, to soothe him…

"I said, GO!"

He was back on his feet and pushed her forcefully away, making her land awkwardly on the floor.

"GET OUT!" – He bellowed, and she dashed to her room.

Once inside, she threw herself on her bed. What had she done?! She shouldn't have argued; she should have sensed his agitation… Her heart – that before had tried to pound its way out of her ribcage – now seemed to have shriveled up inside her and she wanted to die more than to fall asleep… What had she done?

She had barely closed her eyes when she fell into uneasy sleep. She was dreaming…

_It was dark. A man's voice kept saying he was sorry, while trying to gather her in his arms. He was apparently crying and, even though she couldn't see anything at all – the scenery was pitch black – she easily recognized the man as Sirius._

_It seemed to be her memory of what had happened after her outburst in January, which the recent fight with Remus had brought up again. He smelt slightly like Firewhisky and his hands were roaming her more desperately than ever. She sought his mouth and kissed him, wanting to shush his cries for forgiveness, wanting to diminish his pain, to tell him it was okay and that it had passed… But it was futile: he was dead; it was only a memory. She didn't need to worry about his aches…_

_He settled himself on top of her, his warm weight making her feel more alive than ever. His lips met her jaw, her neck, her shoulders… She freed him from his shirt after he took off hers, and both were soon involved in a short battle of wills of who-tasted-what first. She encircled his waist with her legs and he pushed himself against her, making Tonks gasp and regret they had not taken all their clothes off. She kissed him passionately, wanting to call out to him, wanting him to stay until it was over, but he moved his lips away from hers to make circles around her navel with his tongue._

"_No…", she said angrily in a slightly harsh voice as she pulled him up, speaking for the first time in their sessions ever. Instantly, she was sorry for it, as his warmth, his weight, had left her and she was back to only feeling herself on the mattress and cold air down her front…_

The dream ended so abruptly that Tonks opened her eyes in disappointment. To her horror, someone was closing her door.

Tonks jumped up, took her shirt from where it had been tossed on the floor and scampered out. Remus was already at the entrance. She ran after him, but it was too late: he had gotten to the street and had apparated without turning...

Tonks gazed at the place where he had vanished with a sinking feeling in her stomach. What had she done?! Sirius words echoed in her head:

"_In fact, the only way he'll shut you out of his heart for good is if you push him away. That is why, as I said before, this has to stop…"_

And now that she was sure that Remus thought she had pushed him, he was gone… The world seemed to have fallen apart… Her pain was such that she couldn't do anything at all…

And, suddenly, whatever she felt was replaced by something new: something hot trickled down from the top of her head to her bare toes. Even though she had never experienced it before, it was easily interpreted: she was no longer a Metamorphmagus; her powers were now lost as if she had been Disillusioned…

Tonks stood disconsolately staring at thin air, looking exactly like herself… What had she done?!

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**Author's Note:** Well, I said back in the first chapter that I might say why Tonks had changed in HBP (she stopped being able to metamorphose out of shock), so this was the only thing I had already written since day one. What do you think? Was this a good portrayal of how it might have happened? Let me know with a review or flame. I'll be waiting… 


	8. Where the trio got their theories from

**Author's Note:** We all know life's ironic, but there are moments when this truth is so obvious it's almost like it slapped us with the ugly stick (sorry for the randomness: I'm in shock at the moment). See, although FF .net has nothing to do with how my life suddenly turned all ironic-y on me, there's some of it in here, too. For example, my nine-chapter story "_You can't say no to me…_" (already finished) has been viewed 986 times, compared to the 305 times you guys have seen this one. However, this story already has 18 reviews, compared to the 2 I got on that one… Oh, the irony! (Ocaso grumbles other random things and slouches away…)

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**Disclaimer:** I told Firenze I owned the Harry Potter books. He told me "_Mars is bright tonight._" Go figure…

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_Where the trio got their theories from…_**

Only Auror training convinced Tonks of going back to her place but, once she closed the door behind her, all rational thought was blown away. She stared transfixed at the fire in which bits of glass were still strewn, without noticing that time hadn't stopped when her heartbeats felt like they had. Her detachment from everything was such that it took the owl outside her window half an hour to get her attention, much to the owl's aggravation. Once Tonks saw it, she opened the window numbly and took the untitled note without care, staring at the owl until it was back out the window and flying away.

It took her a couple of minutes to remember that letters were supposed to be read…

Turning it around, she noticed it had no seal or mark whatsoever and, opening it, the messy scrawl revealed that the sender had been in a hurry indeed. In spite of this, Tonks couldn't care less what it said and ended up reading it just because she was – apparently – supposed to:

'_Tonks,_

_There's no excuse to what happened. Without your permission I entered your room and instead of saying I was sorry, as I originally intended, I almost forced myself on you. Fortunately, you managed to bring me back to my senses on time, but now we can't pretend I'm not dangerous and I'm not only saying it because I become a blood-thirsty monster once a month. I'm saying this (like I've done a thousand times before) because I'm an old werewolf, Tonks, and not even being poor made me understand I didn't deserve you… And there are many more bad things to me than my poverty, as I__'__ve just recently proved._

_But I know better now._

_Thus, I will not contact you any further and you won't be able to get in touch with me either, since I'll already be heading underground when you read this. I know that not letting you reply is unfair, but please try to understand that – as Sirius used to say – "it's better to end the play before the curtain falls."_

_I'm sorry I made you waste your time bringing joy to the wrong man's life, and I want you to know that I now share Sirius' wish (as I always should have) of seeing you with someone worthy of you someday…_

_Until then, be safe._

_Remus._'

These kinds of letters were generally read over and over again until the ink faded and the parchment turned dark. However, once was enough for Tonks and she threw it into the fire, her eyes too dry for her to cry again. She looked at the watch on the mantelpiece and wasn't surprised when it showed it was already an hour to midnight, although her fight with Remus had happened at seven. After all, she had probably already surpassed the amount of emotion she could feel in one day…

Taking her cloak, Tonks walked out to the street and apparated. In the blink of an eye, she was standing at the Burrow's front yard. She looked at the light in the kitchen and sighed: she hadn't counted on Molly having company. Slowly, she approached the crooked building, and started hearing the arguing voices once she was close enough.

"Ron and Ginny, that's it! Up you go! Hermione, I know I'm not supposed to–"

"It's fine, Mrs. Weasley, really…"

"Well, then, you too. You're all going to bed this instant. I've already told you this too many times tonight, but Albus said that Harry wouldn't be here before morning and if I have to–"

Without a precise thought, Tonks banged the door perhaps a bit louder than she should have.

"What's going on out there? Who is it?" – Molly asked nervously.

"Tonks." – She replied, noticing her voice was rather hoarse.

The door flew open and Tonks found herself face to face with a concerned Molly.

"Tonks? What happened? You look–"

"I know, and I can't change my appearance. It's got something to do with my metamorphosing… Or the fact that I can't at the moment… But I'd rather discuss it inside. Can I come in?"

Molly blushed and nodded as she closed the door, motioning Tonks to sit at the table and handing her a mug of strong tea, all while trying to usher the children out unsuccessfully.

"You three! Really!" – Molly said angrily, but the kids looked on from the kitchen door.

The harder Molly tried, the more the trio wanted to stay and Tonks grew tired of it after a while, not being in the mood to joke with them as she usually did. They had left her with no other option, so she just lowered her eyes to her mug and let out a sigh.

"Molly, I'm sorry I barged in like this… It's just – Remus has tried to talk to me about it but – but after – after Sirius… Oh, it was all my fault!" – And Tonks let out a wail.

That had the desired effect, as Hermione, Ron and Ginny look at each other in shock: they were being severely inconsiderate. The three mumbled their goodbyes and walked upstairs, leaving an alarmed Molly sitting at the table across her.

"Tonks?"

"It's okay; I just said that to make them go away." – She replied, composing herself at once.

"Why, that's terrible! Why would you do such a thing?!"

"Because I needed to talk to someone… And after Sirius died, I've only got you…"

Her sincerity made Molly blush deep red. Tonks raised her eyes and locked them with hers, which Molly took as her golden opportunity.

"You could have someone else, you know… A nice, young man… Maybe you and Bill could–"

"I'm not interested in Bill."

"You always say that, but–"

"Please, stop. You wouldn't want him with me."

"What? That's nonsense!" – The woman before her chuckled. – "Where did you get that idea? I'd be–"

"I've done something horrible, Molly." – She interrupted emotionlessly and Molly's smile fell. – "And it's got to do with Remus."

"What? What do you mean 'horrible'?"

"I love him."

Suddenly, Tonks wondered if a woman of Molly's age could really endure changing her facial expressions so radically and so often in one night. That reminded her of how she had thought Remus and Sirius had no respect for her blood vessels, and her eyes darkened, so she drank her tea in one gulp to replace that thought with feeling her mouth on fire. Molly, however, noticed nothing of it and clapped her hands together, looking like Christmas had come early.

"You love him? You _love_ him?!"

"It would be nice if the whole house didn't learn about it tonight, you know…"

"But it's wonderful news! He deserves a nice young woman, who can bring happiness to his life and he–"

"He doesn't want me."

"HE WHAT?!"

"He doesn't want me." – Tonks repeated almost listlessly. – "We've been together for one and a half months–"

"See, I was right! I had been wondering why you two always wanted to 'talk privately', but I guess you just ran off to–"

"No, Molly, don't get your hopes up." – Tonks said, looking at the dregs in her mug unwittingly. – "He'd never do more than let me kiss him, and he never had the initiative. Then tonight we had a huge argument over him going to Greyback and the rest of the werewolves on Dumbledore's orders," – Here, Molly let out a gasp, clearly horrified. – "because I didn't want him to go… He was scared, but I was so angry about it I didn't notice it… And I pushed him away so he – so he walked out on me."

"He just stood up and left? But that's so unlike him! Are you sure it wasn't an impostor?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I tried to run after him, but it was useless: he apparated. And then I received a letter from him, which said, in short, that he now shared Sirius' wish of seeing me someday with someone worthy of me…"

"But – But he – He's a great man! He's not 'unworthy'; he's just an idiot!"

"I know, but he's sticking to the 'I'm a poor, old werewolf' line, saying that I deserve something better than 'wasting my time bringing joy to the wrong man's life', or something like that."

"He's gone mad… Really! But, maybe, we could – you know? – convince him or something…"

"It's useless. I've tried before, on other topics, but he's terribly stubborn."

"Yet, there must be something… Someway we can get you two together so you can at least talk about it…"

"I'm sorry, but I don't think there's anything left to do. I can't even change my appearance at will anymore, so how do you think I'll get to change his opinion? He doesn't want me… And he went, out of spite, underground… And anger doesn't let one concentrate enough, as Bellatrix and I proved, so what if he gets hurt, just because I couldn't comprehend his feelings enough to not quarrel with him and make him go to them? Is he now, because of me, as good as dead?"

But just as Molly opened her mouth to reply, the door was rapped three times. Tonks looked at her watch and noticed time had done another foul-play: it was shortly after midnight. Molly almost ran to the door and her voice was trembling when she spoke, though Tonks couldn't make out if it was because they both had been startled by the sound, or because Molly was concerned about the misery obvious in Tonks' ramble.

"Who's there? Declare yourself!"

"It is I, Dumbledore–"

But whatever else he said was silenced by Tonks' rage. This man was the one responsible for giving Remus the idea of where to run away! If he hadn't said – If he hadn't told – If he hadn't asked –

"Ah, hello, Nymphadora!"

She fixed a smile on her face and cleared her mind before raising her eyes to meet Harry's and Dumbledore's.

"Hello, Professor. Wotcher, Harry."

The boy replied, but she didn't really listen as she was busy with standing up and pulling her cloak around her shoulders.

"I'd better be off." – She said out loud, while thinking that if Dumbledore, the best sorcerer in the world, as bossy and manipulative as he was, had somehow managed to get a blackened hand (which she had just noticed peeking under his sleeve), what would lie ahead for a good-natured, mild-mannered, intelligent man as Remus? She cursed herself as her voice sounded throaty when she spoke again. – "Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Molly."

The wretched old man, with his wretched long beard and his wretched long black traveling cloak, continued attempting to talk to her with his wretched courteousness, but Tonks refused to meet his eyes again, knowing that she was too busy detesting his wretched existence to succeed in Occlumency at the moment if he wretchedly tried to read her mind.

"Please don't leave on my account," – Dumbledore said, his soft voice mocking her hate for him as the most vile being on Earth (besides You-Know-Who and his followers, of course) at the moment. – "I cannot stay, I have urgent matters to discuss with Rufus Scrigemour."

"No, no, I need to get going. 'Night–"

"Dear, why not come to dinner at the weekend, Remus and Mad-Eye are coming–"

Molly's impromptu interjection almost made Tonks smile, since she was apparently trying to make Tonks understand that talking to Remus was a good start anyway, and that she'd do anything in her power to help Tonks and Remus get back together, even if that meant hosting many surprise dinner parties with her low budget. However thankful for the gesture, Tonks couldn't deny she knew better and her heart was soon cold again.

"No, really, Molly… Thanks anyway… Good night, everyone…"

And she hurried past Dumbledore and Harry into the yard, until she reached the place where she had arrived at when she had first apparated. With dexterity that usually eluded her, Tonks turned on the spot and vanished, standing one second at the Burrow's front yard and the next one in front of her own door…

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**Author's Note:** Wow, lots of dialogue in this one! Sorry about that if it turns out to be confusing. Anyway, thanks to all of those who've read this and those who have reviewed: you make my life a bit less ironic when I check the number of hits or your kind words. Until the next chapter, cheers! Oh, and before I forget, flame or review! 


	9. Why time flew by

**Author's Note:** I've been struggling for a while with this story, wondering about its length. I went from planning ten chapters to thinking it needed twelve, back to settling at ten. That is why this one covers a lot of things. I'm sorry if it's too long but, in any case, I hope you enjoy it. Cheers!

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**Disclaimer:**

_To the Readers_

_I know I will have posted long before you read this_

_but I want you to know that it was I who wrote this disclaimer._

_I haven't written the real Harry Potter books and I don't intend to pretend so, though I can._

_I face this in the hope that, when you read the next chapter,_

_you will find a new disclaimer once more._

_O.C.A.S.O._

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_Why time flew by…_**

"To put it simply, what you mean to tell me is that, since the time-dissociation, the change of my patronus and the loss of my metamorphosing abilities are – are–"

"– Are all shock-induced, yes –"

"–You've decided that I'm unfit for work?"

"Don't say it like that…" – Onderdonk said quietly. – "You know I wish things would be different… And if there was anything I could do… But… And it's just – I mean –You know this for your own good…"

"Is it?"

The healer sighed and Tonks stared at her drink for a moment. During the past eight months her moods had alternated between notorious confusion and renowned numbness, but this time, Tonks couldn't quite work out what she felt. Was it impotence? Sorrow? Defeat?

The warm hand on her shoulder brought Tonks back to reality and made her meet the bespectacled gaze of the woman before her.

"I sincerely wish I didn't have to do this…"

"I know, Cesia. You wouldn't have asked me to come here if you did."

They were sitting at The Three Broomsticks, which was quieter and emptier than usual, since everyone at Hogsmeade had wandered outside to watch the Hogwarts students' apparition practice sessions. Tonks tilted her glass and then set it back down without drinking.

"When do you plan on informing the Auror Headquarters of my incompetence, so I can be sacked?"

"Tonks!"

"Well, what do you want me to say? Would you like me to comment on today's mid-March fair spring weather or something?"

The healer sighed – which she had done so many times already during their clandestine meeting that Tonks started thinking Cesia just exhaled loudly every couple of minutes – but her eyes suddenly twinkled merrily.

"I don't have to tell them anything, you know…"

"But – but you just said you had to." – Tonks replied, bemused.

"I've got an idea. See? And then, you come back!"

"Well, that's clears that up then…"

"Sorry." – Cesia replied with a sheepish grin before clearing her throat triumphantly. – "I think you could just take a leave of absence."

"What?! A leave of – I'm sorry, but I think the gillyweed–"

"I'm not drunk and I know what I'm saying. They can't dismiss you if your condition isn't disclosed, and I promise to keep mum if you take a leave of absence."

"And on what account would I do that?"

"Bereavement." – Cesia answered simply.

"_Bereavement?!_ Are you even listening to yourself?"

"Of course I am, and it's completely logical."

"It isn't!"

"It is! Don't you get it? I can even say that your symptoms were delayed until what had happened sunk in." – Tonks shook her head disbelievingly, so Cesia pressed on. – "I understand that you like your job and I know that your assignment here is probably the most important one an Auror can have at the moment, but you need to rest, to figure things out and get better, or you'll only end up getting hurt."

"I'll be fine and I can prove it!"

"Look, I know that you're generally extremely qualified to face whatever comes your way. However, if you were to be attacked this instant, your condition would cause difficulties if you tried to defend yourself and that's an indisputable fact."

"So you think that, just because of shock-induced issues, I'd fall dead on my own accord?"

"Unexpected attacks in peaceful times have killed witches and wizards that were perfectly healthy, and we're at war. From tortures to deaths and from giants to dementors, there are a million reasons why being an Auror is dangerous, and guarding Harry Potter just makes it worse. I mean, even some of his friends, like Remus, are unwillingly hazardous to his health at times. And what you would have done if Remus was that werewolf and if he had come after Harry instead of that child? Can you sincerely tell me that there's something you could have done?"

Tonks could feel the blood draining out of her face and she straightened up in her chair, anxiously attentive to Cesia's every word, who took this as her golden opportunity.

"So, Tonks, you can't deny it: these are dangerous times… Sadly, you can't face that danger now… You're not ready. And you're not only jeopardizing your own life: Harry and the rest of the students at Hogwarts depend on you to keep them safe… As of this moment, you can't. Are you willing to put them in danger just for stubbornness' sake?"

Her heart still beating wildly, Tonks tried to mask the reason of her concern and shook her head.

"You're right; I can't risk them…"

"So you'll do as I say?"

"Yes. I'll ask for a leave of absence, once the school year ends."

"But that's almost three months from now!"

"I've got a task that I can't walk out on, however poorly you think I'll carry it out. That responsibility is lifted off my shoulders at the end of June, so I'll wait until then."

"And how will I know you're not bluffing?"

"You can't. You'll just have to believe it."

"That's not going to work." – Cesia frowned. – "If you want me to trust you, someone else – someone with authority over you – must know."

"I'm not telling Moody."

"Then tell Dumbledore."

"_What?!_"

"You heard me. I'll get off your back, keeping this quiet and leaving you alone, if you talk to him."

"Okay! All right! Fine!" – Tonks said furiously, standing up, taking that as an opportunity to go ask Dumbledore about Remus' state without anyone suspecting about her trip. – "You want me to tell him? I'll go do that right now! _Happy?!_ But why does everything gravitate around _that wretched man_!"

"Language, Tonks…" – The healer smiled.

Angrily, Tonks shook her head again and walked out, heading towards Hogwarts. However, a couple of minutes later, Tonks chastised herself because, though Dumbledore had indirectly pulled her and Remus apart, it was he who had brought them together in the first place. After all, had she not been recruited for the Order of the Phoenix, Tonks would never have met Remus. And if she hadn't, what would her life have been like?

Tonks answered her own question evoking her moments with Remus and those without him, which seemed to be complete opposites. For example, Platform 9 ¾ (when Harry had gone back to the Dursleys at the end of his fifth year) had been sunny and warm and they had left it side-along apparating home. Hogsmeade Station only two months afterwards, on the other hand, had been dark, lonely and cold. Likewise, last Christmas had seen them grow closer (though just as friends) while they took turns to visit Arthur at St. Mungo's and then guarded the children on the Knight Bus. This Christmas, in contrast, saw them grow apart, though Molly had tried to make her attend the Burrow's Christmas party.

"Remus will be here." – She had said. Tonks, knowing he wouldn't want to see her after asking her not to keep in touch, had declined.

A sigh escaped her lips... When had perfection been spoiled? Her own mind viciously reminded her that she was the one that had ruined everything. She didn't understand Remus when he had wordlessly asked for her help to work something out, so he could fulfill his duties as she now wanted so badly to fulfill hers. Instead, Tonks had acted selfishly, he had moved away, and now (however purposeful, mature and serious she tried to be) she couldn't mend what her childish acts had done. Thus, if anything happened to Remus, Tonks – not Dumbledore – would be responsible…

Walking already up the castle's stairs, Tonks reflections shifted from her Remus-related anxieties to his present state. She knew he'd have a difficult time convincing the rest of the werewolves, and wondered how far he'd go to gain their trust. Had he been forced to bite the child to prove himself to them? Fenrir was sadistic, so that was a possibility… Maybe Remus knew it would happen sooner or later, and that's why he had been horrified by the idea of going to them… And maybe the taste of blood had revived the werewolf in him, so he got carried away…

As if corroborating this theory, Tonks' mind recalled with painful precision the words in his letter:

"…_I become a blood-thirsty monster once a month…_"

But she refused to believe he was a savage beast, bringing to mind how Cesia asked her to pretend it was him for a moment, which meant the Healer was sure he wasn't. Her mind then came up with another horrible option: maybe his reactions to the killing were his test… And, as Fenrir or someone else killed the child in front of Remus, Remus had suffered, unable to defend the dying boy, although dying himself inside… _That_ was definitely more like the mild-mannered man she knew, after all…

A full-body shiver suddenly brought Tonks back to reality: with her mind wandering, she had unintentionally walked through The Grey Lady.

"Do mind where you're walking."

"I'm sorry – I was–"

"Distracted, I noticed. So was the Headmaster when he left earlier, so pray tell: is there something interesting going on?"

"He's left?"

"Yes, about an hour ago."

Tonks rested her hand on the wall to stop her vision from swimming before her, staring at thin air in silence for so long that The Grey Lady gave her a small smile and glided away...

Her alarm at Dumbledore's absence was more due to the fact that she had solid proof of it, than to the fact of it being an unforeseen event since, although she had already suspected that he had left Hogwarts a couple of times during the school year, Tonks had so far wished she was wrong. That shock was then heightened by the thought of him not informing either Harry's guard or the Order that he'd go away, when his departure was a serious security breach. Where was he off to? And why?

To get some steadiness back in her legs (which were feeling like jelly at the moment), Tonks started walking again, aimlessly. Her mind was in overdrive, making her remember the blackened hand that peeked under Dumbledore's robes at the Burrow in summer. Had he been hurt in one of his outings? If so, how? Her heart constricted as she remembered the harsh emotions she had harbored against Dumbledore since Remus' mission started, while Dumbledore had been wrestling alone against evil.

"He's extremely powerful…" – She found herself admitting fairly, before her mind dismally replied, "_But_ _Remus isn't…_"

The thought made her want to run away screaming, but the startling materialization of a jumping figure in the corridor in front of her surprised her to the point of being unable to move, until she noticed who it was.

"Harry?"

The boy turned around and toppled over, before scrambling to his feet again with an astonished and embarrassed look on his face.

"What're you doing here?" – Harry asked as he clutched his foot with a pained expression.

"I came to see Dumbledore."

"His office isn't here. It's round the other side of the castle, behind the gargoyle–"

"I know." – She said, cutting across his description of the floor plans. – "He's not there. Apparently he's gone away again."

"Has he? Hey – you don't know where he goes, I suppose?"

"No."

"What did you want to see him about?" – He insisted, making Tonks think that, though the boy's nature was habitually inquisitive, this time it was bordering on annoying.

"Nothing in particular. I just thought he might know what's going on." – She said, trying to lie unemotionally, but nervously picking at the sleeve of her robes all the same. – "I've heard rumors… People getting hurt…"

Harry said something about an attack he'd read in the paper, but Tonks didn't listen to him, suddenly remembering how Sirius used to contact the boy stealthily. Surely, as Harry didn't have anyone anymore, Remus must have done so, too? Her spirits lifted up, as she inadvertently interrupted him again without even concealing her anticipation.

"The Prophet's often behind times. You haven't heard from anyone in the Order recently?"

"No one from the Order writes to me anymore…" – He replied.

That answer was certainly not what she was wishing for, and her eyes prickled. The boy continued speaking awkwardly as she tried to blink the tears away, but her efforts were barely successful. Then she tried to focus on his words, but he was already quiet, apparently expecting her response.

"What?" – She asked blankly. At his silence, she shrugged mentally. – "Well… I'll see you around, Harry…"

And she turned on the spot, walking back down the corridor and then down the stairs, berating herself the whole time for being unable to maintain a simple conversation with a harmless teenager, without being upset because of an answer. If she couldn't do something as simple as that, she couldn't pretend she'd be able to protect herself, let alone anyone else.

Stung by her uselessness and helplessness, Tonks' thoughts dwelled on the healer's words:

"_And what you would have done if Remus was that werewolf and if he had come after Harry instead of that child? Can you sincerely tell me that there's something you could have done?_"

"No." – Tonks answered in despair.

Recognizing Cesia had been right all along, Tonks' mind was made instantly: she would take a leave of absence once the school was over... _She had to_.

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**Author's Note:** Another chapter has come and gone, as we approach the impressive finale of this story. There's only one chapter to go, so don't worry: you won't have to hold your breaths too long. Thanks for reading and, as always, please flame or review! 


	10. How a new phase began

**Author's Note:** Well, we've finally reached the last chapter, so I want to take a little time to thank all the readers. Also, with no particular order (other than an alphabetical one, lol), to my reviewers I write this:

_adrienne06052_ Your selection of words made me curious and, to this day, I'm still thriving to grasp the nature of your review. Thanks for keeping me interested, and thanks if it was a flame: it'd be my first one. Cheers!

_Emilee_ You read my first chapter and egged me on, lol. Thanks for your support and kind words: they meant a lot to me, as you can see!

_JetGriffins89_ Our author-reviewer platonic-love is fine by me! (As long as you keep reviewing of course, lol!) Keep working hard and keep in touch!

_Lil pink pixie_ We all start somewhere, and you've had a good start. Keep working and improving, and remember: flames will _always_ be used for bonfires!

_ProperT_ You've reviewed (and hopefully read, lol) each and every chapter, giving me support over and over again, even when my story wasn't like the ones you usually read. Thanks for your reliability and for giving the first chapter a chance!

_Steven Kodaly_ Always on the good side, your reviews were always very specific and stylish (are you sure you aren't a beta? Lol!) I hope to see you around!

Well, with that said, let's move on: read and enjoy!

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**Disclaimer:** Own Harry Potter, I do not. Starwars, however, another story is…

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_**A dog, a nymph and a werewolf.**_

**_How a new phase began…_**

Tonks had been gazing so intently at the same corner of Bill's bed that everything around it seemed to fade to gray. Her attention was such that the spot had probably been engraved in her mind so that she could see it even if she closed her eyes, but she had not blinked for the last hour as she thought of what had happened. It was too much to take in, so she finally settled with going through her day all over again…

"– _**SO EITHER YOU KEEP YOUR WORD OR I'M HAVING ONE WITH REMUS!**" – Cesia's voice finished yelling before a ringing silence fell and the Howler__'s __red envelope burst into flames. _

_That, of course, got Tonks attention, so after weeks of putting it off, Tonks finally found herself walking up to Hogwarts and past the gargoyle, into the Headmaster's office. Albus Dumbledore smiled kindly at her as she told him everything from her condition to her resignation, before he pulled a Firenze._

"_I'm going out tonight." – He had stated. She had blinked._

She now understood why, for the first time ever, Dumbledore had warned them about his departure: he must have sensed something would happen.

"_I believe Bill remembers the Castle's layout from his last visit." – Dumbledore had said, ignoring her surprise. – "And Remus must still have it fresh in his mind."_

_She got the hint quite quickly. _

"_Am I to contact them?" _

"_Yes. I've informed Minerva, so you needn't worry about telling the others…" – He paused for a moment, as he stood up and took his long, black traveling cloak. – "What I usually do to protect this place in my absence won't be enough tonight, so I ask you to patrol the halls until it is through…"_

_He stood at the window to look out at the grounds, tinged red by the sunset, which Tonks took as her dismissal…_

Dumbledore's usual ambiguity made it difficult for Tonks to comprehend what he had meant with "_until it is through_". Had he known beforehand what Snape would do? Or had he been referring to that night, his last absence indeed?

"Tonks?" – Molly, with her face still tear-stained, asked her awkwardly. – "You've been standing there for almost an hour and – I know I probably shouldn't insist but – but maybe you'd like to rest? Madam Pomfrey's been offering you a room upstairs for a while now, but you don't seem to have heard her…"

"I didn't, I'm so sorry –" – Tonks replied hastily, feeling guilty.

"Don't worry, dear: I know you must be tired." – Madam Pomfrey said as she led her away.

_Remus had been avoiding her all night, making her want to shake him – which she finally did – and making her frown at herself. After all, why did she always have to act out? September, January, June and July and now June again, had all seen her explosions, and she felt embarrassed and depressed. As everyone started dispersing, Tonks kept her eyes on Bill's blanket, wondering why it was always she who got upset while everyone else faced everything in a calm manner…_

_Her annoyance intensified as she heard Remus saying farewell to the children, explaining to them that they might be seeing more of him if Hogwarts closed. Why was he concerned about assuring_ _them of his presence, when they probably didn't even care about him as she did? But then her mind reminded her that Dumbledore was dead and that there were bigger problems than hers…_

The flames rose and fell with a soft crackle, as Tonks stared at the fireplace from her sitting position on the bed. The room was comfortable and some sleep would be welcome, but her mind was too awake for her to lie down. She pulled her hair carelessly and then placed her head in her hands, letting silent grief wash over her. The logs creaked again but she ignored them: _Dumbledore – inconceivably – was dead_…

Tonks could have stayed like that forever, letting herself waste away, had she not felt something that made her jerk away: Remus had touched a lock of her hair.

Her eyes widened in shock, but he didn't explain his sudden arrival or his actions. Instead, he dejectedly sat down on the bed next to her.

"I knew your Patronus had changed…" – Remus said after a short while. – "But no one told me other things had as well…"

"What good would that have done?" – She answered. – "Would you have come back to me?"

The pain in his eyes deepened and she looked away.

"It's been a long year, Remus."

"So I see…" – He replied quietly. – "Did you – When I –"

"Yes."

The harshness of her response made her slap her forehead mentally, so when he shifted slightly next to her she tried to say she was sorry. Yet, once she turned to face him, she was unable to: less than a breath away, he suddenly closed the gap between their lips.

Too surprised to react, Tonks felt his cold hands splayed on her stomach, pushing her down on the mattress, and she obliged. He laid himself on top of her deftly, his mouth never leaving hers as they lay down and he repositioned himself. She closed her watering eyes and fought back a sob: she didn't want this.

It had been okay with Sirius, of course, because they eased their pain this way, but she didn't want to go through the same thing with Remus. This wasn't about comforting him; it was about him loving her. She half-expected him to start undressing her, to lay his weight fully on her, to spread her legs apart, but he didn't seem to be in a rush anyway. Her tears finally managed to escape her eyelids, and so did his.

Tonks eyes flung open: Remus was also crying.

His tears tickled her cheeks as he kissed her softly, steadily, tenderly, and the low-intensity of it seemed to continue forever. His tongue explored her mouth unhurriedly and Tonks was unsure of how she should feel. However, after a while under his ministrations, she threw all cautions to the wind, closed her eyes and decided to give in to anything he wanted of her. After all, like Sirius, she knew he too was broken…

Remus didn't smell like Firewhisky, so she knew that this was the very first time he had caressed her without her asking to and without the influence of alcohol. If he thought this was everything she was good for – But Tonks decided that if he did, she'd please him: his closeness was more important to her than her own feelings.

He lay carefully down next to her, pulling her into a spooning position. Tonks could feel pressure forming in her body and her breathing sped up, even though he hadn't done anything else. His mouth found the crook of her neck and his arms pulled her so close to him that she could feel every button and every stitch of his clothes. She moaned quietly and let him do as he wished, but either time-dissociation played a trick on her again, or it was over quite soon and he was still as prudish as ever.

"Remus?"

He hugged her lightly and his lips grazed the nape of her neck softly, as he let her hair dry the last of his tears. Tonks frowned and tried again.

"Remus… Are you awake?"

"Uh-Hmm…"

"Right…"

She waited for him to say something – _anything_ – but he seemed to be content with enjoying the moment and regaining his breath. After a few minutes, she interrupted the silence once more.

"Remus… I'm sorry, but… What was that all about?"

"I am an idiot." – He replied serenely.

Tonks' frown deepened.

"You just snogged me senseless because you realized that you're an idiot?"

Her statement by no means should have generated his chuckle, she thought crossly as he laughed.

"No, Tonks. I meant that I have been an idiot long enough. Everyone was right, but I was too headstrong to notice that I was hurting you."

"So you kissed me because you wanted to take my aches away?" – She asked, freeing herself from his grip and turning to face him.

"Wrong again, Tonks." – He answered, looking into her eyes affectionately. – "I did it because I love you."

He sealed her speechless lips with his, yet this time the renewal of the building pressure in her wasn't the only thing she felt: something cold trickled down her body from the top of her head to her clothed toes. Elated, Tonks let out a peal of laughter and they continued their explorations earnestly, letting their journey extend beyond their faces and trivial barriers (like clothing) long after dawn. And when Remus finally lay himself next to Tonks on the bed, both their bodies still glistening and throbbing in delight, they laughed once more: no wonder Dumbledore wanted more love in the world!

They talked and cuddled afterwards until they were too tired to do so and prepared to fall asleep, but as she was drifting off, Remus suddenly tugged her bangs. Without opening her eyes, Tonks smiled, knowing that why he had done so: her hair was bubble-gum-pink again…

* * *

**Author's Note:** Finally, it is over, as my take on the Sirius-Tonks-Remus issue ends here. Thanks again to all of you who've read "A dog, a nymph and a werewolf." diligently. I hope to see you around in other stories, or to check yours if you have any here. Until then, I ask you for the last time in this fic (as the true FF .net author that I am): please flame or review! Cheers! 


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